


Ominira means freedom

by MamaSabah1972



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, F/M, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-06 12:47:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13411581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MamaSabah1972/pseuds/MamaSabah1972
Summary: Penelope Garcia always thought her team members were the real superheroes. She was the colorful side kick who took care of them. The Alfred J. Pennyworth of the BAU if you will. She was the one who stayed in the Batcave and welcomed them home with baked goods. Until the one who needed a hero was her. Then she found out a hero is an ordinary person who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles. ***Trigger warnings for mentions of suicide and the associated emotional pain of suicide.***





	1. Found

Bright lights blinded her and all she could feel was pain in her hand and feet. Burning pain that seared through her body and made her unable to think of anything else. Crying out she began to thrash on the hard mattress and tried to raise herself. Panic caused her heart to pound and she fought to get up and run. She heard voices calling to her, but the pain was too much and she could not understand the words she was hearing. After a time she felt herself slipping away and the pain faded. She opened her eyes and saw faces of people she somehow knew she should recognize. People that were somehow important to her, but the face she needed to see was not there. In confusion she asked for her baby and saw the looks of shock on the faces of the people in the room. When no one responded she began to fight again. Pulling at the wires and tubes attached to her body as she struggled to sit up. A tall dark skinned man came forward and tried to stop her by holding onto her hands. She focused on the words he was saying. "Baby girl you need to calm down. Your going to hurt your self. Please try to calm down and talk to us." Looking into his eyes she could see that he cared for her, but she needed to find her child. All she could focus on was finding her baby.

Penelope continued struggling with the tall dark man until she saw a woman standing in the doorway holding her child. The child had been bathed and her black curly hair was surrounding her head like a halo. Penelope let out an involuntary sob as she held her arms out. Relief surged over her and she felt tears running down her face as the woman carrying her daughter moved to her bedside. All she could focus on was that her child was safe.

The room had gone completely silent as the people surrounding her took in the fact that Penelope was alive and had a child. A child she gave birth to in captivity while undergoing unimaginable tourture. While they, the people she called family, the people she had done her best to care for everyday, had moved on with their lives believing she was dead. Dead by her own hand. Something they all should have known was impossable. They had failed her. Now she seemed to not even know them. She had not looked at any of them with a spark of recognition. 

As the baby was lowered gently into Penelope's arms the child began to smile and giggle. Penelope's own smile was beaming and she whispered to her daughter "Ominira, we are safe now. No more bad men." She laid the child on her chest and noticed the dressing over her right hand. Looking up Penelope asked "What is wrong with my hand? My feet hurt too." Derek had to clear his throat before he could answer. "You burned your hand and the bottoms of your feet Baby Girl. The police report says you were found outside a buring warehouse where 12 other women were found. The burns will need skin grafts so you will be here awhile while you recover." Penelope looked up into the dark brown eyes as she tried to remember a name. She knew him and felt instinctively she could trust him, but his name just would not come. Finally she asked "what is your name? " She saw tears in his eyes and glanced around the room looking for anyone who's name she might remember. A tall thin brown haired man stood behind the dark skinned man. Near the door stood a woman with black hair and 2 men both with back hair and tanned skin. On the left side of the stretcher stood a blond woman with pale skin and a dark skinned woman with black hair. She looked at each of them trying to remeber names. Any names would be good, but she was drawing a total blank. Finally she rested her eyes on one of the men by the door and called out "Roxi! Who is Roxi? I remeber that name." The man by the door let out a sudden laugh and answered "Roxi is my dog. She is at the dog sitters right now. She's fine" After a few moments Penelope rested her head back and muttered "Names don't really matter. I need to leave here. They can find me here. We are not safe. I need a computer so I can wipe myself off the hospitals records. They can track me here." After a few moments of resting with her eyes closed Penelope raised her head and looked around. "So anyone got a laptop?" Derek closed his eyes and wiped away the tears he had shed when she asked his name before he began to speak. "I'm Derek Morgan. My son Hank is your godson and you are my best friend. My Baby Girl. The man behind me is Spencer Reid. The men over there (indicating toward the door) are Matt Simmons and Luke Alvez. The woman is Emily Prentiss. The ladies next to you are Jennifer Jareau and Tara Lewis." As Derek was speaking an older man walked in " and lastly that is David Rossi. We are your family." Derek's voice broke on the final word and Spencer placed a hand on his shoulder. Spencer spoke up in a clear voice "No one will hurt you here. Your listed as Jane Doe still. Derek's wife recognized you when the paramedics bought you in, but for safety we requested they leave you anonymous. We are here with you now Penelope and I will not let anyone hurt you again." A woman in scrubs walked in the already crowded room and Derek smiled at her. Penelope looked at her and then back at Derek. "She's your wife. Savannah. Your wife is Savannah. Right?" Derek looked back at Penelope and nodded. Savannah smiled at Penelope and announced Penelope's room was ready and she would be transferred to the burn unit. Penelope Pulled the little girl on her chest closer and looked at Savannah in fear. "Ominira has to stay with me. I can't let her go." Savannah spoke quietly answering "I'll carry her while we move you to your new room. She will be right here in my arms. She is safe with me. I swear it Penelope ." Reaching out her arms to take the baby Penelope hesitated looking around at the people in the room. Spencer stepped up beside the strecher and took Penelope's bandaged hand gently in his. He looked deeply into her eyes and in a quiet voice began to speak. "I know your scared. You have been through so much and your confused by everything. The medication they gave you is making it worse. You know us. Deep inside you know we are your family. We love you and we are all so happy to have you back. You are our sunshine and now we have gotten you back we will never let you go again. We will keep you both safe. One of us will be here all the time to guard you both." Penelope looked up at Spencer and knew he was telling her the truth. She slowly turned to Savannah and allowed the baby to be picked up. Savannah looked at the little girl who smiled at her with beautiful hazel eyes. Penelope said "This is my daughter Ominira. It is Yoruba for freedom. There was a nurse named Abiola who helped deliver her. She was so kind. She taught me Yoruba so we could talk in secret." JJ reached out a stroked the baby's curly black hair tenderly. "Hello Ominira. I'm your Aunt JJ. You are so beautiful. We are your family." Penelope looked around the room again. Her eyes were growing heavy and she felt herself unable to keep them open. Quietly before she fell completely asleep she muttered a quiet "thank you".


	2. Remembering

Derek was in the middle of tearing a wall down in a newly purchased house he was renovating when his cell phone began to ring. The ring tone identified the caller as JJ. Getting a call from JJ in the middle of a Tuesday afternoon was a rarity now that he was no longer with the FBI so Derek dropped the sledge hammer he was using and pulled the cell phone out of the holder on his hip. "JJ! To what do I owe the pleasure of your call?". He became concerned when her voice, tight with worry, asked him "have you heard from Pen? She didn't show to work her phone goes strait to voice mail and her car is not at her apartment." Derek knew Pen was not the type to fail to show at work and she never turned off her phone. He felt the concern grow as he admitted he had not heard from Pen in quiet some time and suggested JJ ping the location of her cell. "Call me back when you find her okay?" He asked JJ before he returned to tearing down the wall. He felt a coil of fear in his belly and fought the urge to run to the airport and head to VA. His life was here now and he told himself Pen was just fine. He would call her tonight and have a good long talk. He missed her and knew he had been neglecting their friendship, but things were different now. He pushed the worry out of his mind as he looked at the time and began packing up tools before locking the house up and heading to get Hank from daycare.

Emily was irritated. Without Pen at work she had to enlist the help of another TA who was no where near as efficent as Penelope. She had tried to call several times without luck as had the rest of the team. Luke had suggested that Penelope may have had a date that went well and just lost track of days. The team had just come back from a long weekend and no one had spoken to Penelope since Thursday evening. Emily had seen her scanning some information into the computer system when she left for home and none of the team had spoken with her since then. Spencer said he called her on Saturday afternoon, but she had not answered and he had gotten busy and didn't call again. JJ had the TA ping her location and seeing it was not far JJ and Spencer took a drive over.

They knew something was wrong when they found her car unlocked in an empty parking lot near a bridge. Her purse and phones both lying in plain veiw on the passenger seat. Spencer noticed the envelope sitting on the dash but could not bring himself to touch it. Pointing it out to JJ he watched as she donned gloves and carefully opened the seal. JJ cried as she read the letter and before even knowing what it said he called Emily to bring a CSI team to the location. When JJ tried to read the letter to Spencer he refused to listen. "Pen would never do that! She believed in the sanctity of life. She would never end her own!" Spencer began walking around the car looking for signs of a struggle. When the CSI team arrived they were quickly followed by the BAU team, but the scene gave no further clues to what happened.

For weeks they spoke of nothing but Penelope's disappearance. No one wanted to believe she had taken her own life, but as time went by it seemed more and more likely dispite what anyone wanted to admit. Derek had flown in and spent days looking for any sign of a kidnapping or that she may have been involuntarily taken, but there was nothing. They had been able to track her movements leaving work on Thursday night buying take out on the way home and some online gaming, but after Thursday night the trail stopped. No bank or online activity at all. Just nothing. Her neighbors all spoke highly of the sparkly funny woman who went out of her way to help anyone, but they had not seen or heard a thing. Her friends all reported the same. The only people who had anything negative to say had been her "family". Her step brothers denied having any contact with her for years and made their dislike of Penelope well known. They described her as a selfish spoiled brat who caused their parents death and other than demanding to know if they would be reciving any inheritance they had nothing to contribute. The more the team dug into Penelope's life the more they were confronted by the lack of any true solid relashinships outside of the team. Penelope's life was made up of work. She had a few hobbies, but her life was in many ways one dimensional. It made the team realize that while Penelope put her heart and soul into caring for them she had no one to put their heart and soul into her. 

Life moved on as it tends to do. The team packed up Penelope's apartment after it was cleared by CSI and placed everything in storage. When her will was found no one was surprised that Rossi was named executor. The memorial on the first anniversary of that awful day was beautiful. Her will was read leaving everyone stunned to find out how she had attempted to provide for them. Unknow to the team Penelope had created and sold prgrams and apps worth millions and she had left it all to her family. Making sure to leave Hotch, JJ, Derek, Matt and even Steven's widow enough to send their children to the best ivy league colleges. People from all over the country had attended and everyone had a story of how she helped them. How she had made their lives brighter. Rossi had butterflies released and they placed a memorial on the banks of the river near where her car was found. They made a large donation to suicide prevention center in her name. Things changed with the BAU team as well. They team made sure to check in with each other more often. They made a point of watching eachother. They vowed that no member of their chosen family would ever be that lonely again.


	3. Captive

She dreamed of the fire. She had been locked in an office where she was forced to hack into different companies systems and launder money for the human trafficing ring that had bought her from her kidnappers. She had been held by them for so long she had lost track of time. At first she had hidden a few clues in lines of code on the deep web,but she never knew if they were found or not. She had left her calling card "Happy fun meow meow" as a way to at least let the hacker community know that she was still alive. It made no difference. She had been beaten, burned and raped so many times she could not even remember a time before. She cried when she realized she was pregnant knowing that her child would be kept as insurance to ensure her behavior. If that had been planned by her kidnappers or not she never knew, but it worked. Once her baby was born she stopped leaving clues in code. Stopped using her calling card. She did as she was told and waitied. It had finnaly occured to her that the only person who would save her was her. No super heros would be coming to save the day. No handsome FBI agents would be breaking down doors for her. She was alone and if she wanted to escape with her daughter she would have to do it alone.  
The fire had been her only chance and she took it. The man guarding her in the office opened the door to see what the yelling was about and Penelope picked up the laptop off the table and struck the man as hard as she could with it. She kept hitting him until he stopped moving then grabbed her baby from the ratty playpen she had been given and ran. She remembered flashes of fire and blood. Images of running holding the baby close as she navigated the maze like hallways of the abandoned building she had been held in. She remembered making it back to the basement. A beam had fallen and a man was stuck under it crying for help. Penelope had snatched the gun she saw lying on the ground by him before she passed him. She remembered that she had felt no pity for the man. Nothing but relief that he was helpless. She had unlocked the door to release the captive women, but she did not wait to see if they made it safe. Maybe the old Penelope would have, but she was dead. The woman who stood in her place was only focused on saving her daughter. She ran down hallways looking for a way out and when she saw the bright light of sun throught the small window of the door she almost cried with relief. One woman who called herself Maya had stayed with Penelope while they ran. She caught Penelope's hand and offered to go first. The smoke was thick inside, but there was still a chance of running into one of their captors outside. Maya opened the door and and walked out and Pen heard Maya's voice yelling at her to stay back. She peeked through the door and saw 2 men approching Maya. Fury filled her when she realized they would just keep them caged again so she raised the gun and clutching her daughter in her arms she exited the door and began firing at the men. Her aim was not the best, but as neither man expected it she was able to take them both down before they could take cover. As they lay on the ground bleeding Maya again grabbed her hand and pulled her to keep running. The area they were in was obviously an abandoned buisness district. Maya led them farther away from the building on fire and across a 2 lane street until she found an empty doorway. Both women sat on the stoop and they watched as fire trucks and police cars pulled up to the building now engulfed in fire. After a time Maya stood and approched a man in uniform. She spoke to him for a time before an ambulance pulled up. EMT's got out and seemed to be encouraging Maya to lie on a strecher while she kept gesturing across the road at Penelope. A police officer carefully approched Penelope. Wondering why he seemed so hesitant she looked down to realize she was still holding the gun. She carefully placed it on the ground and stood to move away when her vision went dark and the world seemed to be spinning. 

Penelope jerked awake with a cry and immediately felt the pain in her hand and feet. She looked frantically around the room till her eyes landed on a playpen set up in a corner. She could see the dark mass of her daughters curls and she took a deep calming breath. She saw Derek sitting in a recliner between the bed and playpen. He stood and moved to the bed. Looking down he reached out to push the nurse call button while asking her if she was in pain. She nodded her head and asked how Ominira was. "She just finished eating. Savannah brought formula since you can't breastfeed while your on the strong pain medication. She didn't like it at first, but Uncle Derek has a magic touch" he answered with a smile. Penelope tried to smile, but the pain from the burns was too bad and she let out a whimper. Derek kissed her on the forehead before he walked out to find a nurse. He returned a few moments later with a nurse holding a syringe. "I'm going to give you some medication for pain and something for nausea too. If it is not enough let me know. We want to keep your pain as controlled as possable." She attached the syringe to the IV line and injected the medication before checking the bandages on Penelope's right hand and feet. "Call me if you need anything" The nurse told them with a smile before leaving the room. Derek moved the chair so he was close enough to reach Penelope's left hand. As he sat by her he held her hand gently stroking it with his thumb. "If you agree Savannah and I will take Ominira home with us tonight. We still have Hanks crib and she will be safe with us there. I'll bring her back everyday. Tonight Luke is coming to stay with you. There is a police officer outside your room too. We will keep you safe. Emily and Dave have arranged it so the team can stay here in town awhile. Jj and Reid are staying with Savannah and I so Nira has extra protection" suddenly a question occured to Penelope "Are we in Chicago? How did I get here?" Derek nodded his answer "We will need to talk about what you remember, but I'll leave that up to Emily. All I can tell you is that you were brought into the ER with 12 other women who were found near a burning warehouse. When Savannah saw you she was not sure it was really you, but when she asked your name you said Penelope Garcia and the scars from when you were shot and your Baby Girl tattoo matched. She called me and as soon as I saw you I knew. I missed you so much Baby Girl. You have no idea" Penelope felt her eyes growing heavy again and before she gave in to sleep she looked at Derek and said " there were 2 men outside when we got out. I shot them. I think they were dead, but I didn't check." Derek sat staring at Penelope in shock as she fell asleep. What kind of hell had his baby girl been through that she could have shot 2 men and not care if they died? 


	4. Reality or fanasy

Penelope woke up to the sound of a chair scraping on the floor. She sat up looking for her baby and the other women she was kept locked up with at night. Instead she saw a handsome man looking down at her. Instictivly she pulled her knees up to her chest and wraped her arms around her knees. A burst of fear brought tears to her eyes and she began to shake. The man looking down at her lowered himself to the chair and began to talk to her in a quiet voice "I'm sorry Penelope I didn't mean to wake you. You safe here in the hospital. Remember yesterday you escaped? Ominira is with Derek and Savannah. Your both safe. He was sitting close enough to touch her bed and he held his hand out cautiously. "Do you remember me? It's Luke. You always called me Newbie even after I had been on the team for years. My dog is named Roxi. She really misses you." As he spoke quietly Penelope released her arms from around her knees and timidly reached out her left hand to bridge the space between them. "Luke. I remember you, but I am not sure what things I remember are real and what things are fantasies I made up to stay sane. How do I know I didn't just go insane and I'm not still locked up? I'm afraid I'll wake up still there. How can I take care of Nira? I'm afraid I will lose her. Someone will take her away because I'm crazy. I need to get out of here. I need to get Nira and hide so we are safe. I dropped the gun, can you get me a gun? You have a gun right? Will Derek bring Nira back? He won't keep her will he? I think he said he would bring her back, but if you help we can get out tonight and run. Just help me get to Nira, okay? Then I can take her to California. My parents house. We can hide there. We won't bother anyone I promise." Penelope grasped Luke's hand as she slipped to the end of the bed trying to crawl off. The words she was saying came out faster as she seemed to be sliding deeper into panic. Luke reached out and pressed the nurse call button before he tried to interrupt the stream of thoughts that Penelope seemed to be caught in. He stepped in front of her and gently pulled her to him. He rocked her slowly in his arms, stroked her hair and kept repeating the only thing he could think of "Your safe hermosa. I've got you" At first Penelope tensed up and Luke was afraid he had made the wrong move, but when she wrapped her arms around him he relaxed. He kept stroking her hair and down her back until a nurse walked in. In a soft voice Luke explaned that Penelope seemed to be fighting a panic attack and asked if the nurse could bring her some medication to help. As Luke spoke to the nurse Penelope hid her face in Lukes chest and began to tremble and cry. Luke reached down and pulled out his cell phone still holding Penelope with one arm. He quickly send out a text to Derek thinking the best person to comfort her would be her best friend. After sending off the text he stuck the phone back in his pocket and picked up Penelope to reposition her back in the bed. Once he had her positioned back on the bed Luke tried to pull away but Penelope clutched at him and begged him to stay. Luke decided that if she felt safer in his arms he would give her that comfort so he lowered the side rail and laid down beside her wrapping his arms around her. He could feel her trembling and talking quietly about needing to run away, but she was no longer trying to get off the bed so he kept soothing her with soft words. The nurse returned and after checking Penelope's IV site she injected some medication. The nurse spoke quietly to Luke and he was thankful that she seemed unconcerned about his lying in bed holding Penelope. The nurse simply smiled and told him after what Pen had been through she deserved comfort in what ever form she needed. The medication seemed to work quickly and Penelope stopped trembling, her breathing evened out and her voice grew fainter as she relaxed.  
Derek walked in and his eyes widened in surprise to find Luke lying in bed holding Penelope, but he held his toung waiting for the younger man to explane. Luke slowly began to move himself off the bed and again Penelope began to tremble and grasped hold of his shirt. Luke motioned Derek over. "I think I scared her when I moved a chair and it made a noise. The nurse gave her some medication, but when I try to let her go she panics again." As Luke spoke JJ and Reid walked in with Reid carrying a infant car seat holding Nira. Luke turned to Pen while Derek moved to pull the baby out of her car seat. "Wake up a little hermosa Derek, JJ and Reid are here and they brought Nira. Come on open those pretty eyes. Your Hot Stuff is here bonita." Penelope opened her eyes and looked around the room catching sight of Nira. She let go of Luke and reached out for the baby. Derek handed the blanket wrapped bundle to Luke and he quickly positioned the baby between them so Penelope could easily see her, but knowing Pen had just been sedated he kept a firm grip on the baby. Penelope stroked her daughters face and relaxed some. Soon her eyes began to drift closed again. Once Penelope's breathing evened out Luke lifted Nira to lie against his chest and stood up off the bed. The baby continued to sleep peacfully and Luke looked down at her. "I've not held many babies. Are they all this cute?" He asked with a smile. Derek chuckled and answered "She takes after her mom. Other than darker skin and hair color she is a mini baby girl. When she wants to be heard though, whew watch out!" Luke laughed and moved to put the sleeping infant back in the car seat. JJ spoke up "So what exactly happened? Was it a nightmare?" Luke looked a little guilty and explaned "I was moving the chair so I could be closer to her and made a noise. She woke up, saw me and seemed scared so I sat down and started talking to her. Reminding her who I am and that she is in the hospital. I held my hand out to her and she took it then started trying to get out of the bed. She was talking fast working herself into a panic so to stop her climbing off the end of the bed I pulled her into a hug, at first she tensed up, but after a second she wrapped her arms around me and held on. She seemed focused most on Nira so I decided to text Derek. The main thing that concerned me was that she asked me to get her a gun." Reid and JJ both looked surprised, but Derek told them all how Pen had mentioned shooting two men during her escape as she was falling asleep, but he wasn't sure if it had happened. JJ spoke up "Well she shot that man who tried to kill Spence so I don't doubt she would shoot anyone to protect her daughter." Luke stammered out "Pen shot a man? Penelope Garcia the tech queen shot a man? Where is he now?" JJ answered "He's dead" quickly and Luke turned to stare at the woman asleep in the hospital bed. Penelope shifted in the bed and opened her eyes. Derek moved to the side of the bed and knelt down to look into her face quietly speaking "Hey baby girl. It's okay. I'm right here and Nira's here too. She is sleeping. Are you hurting? Do you need anything sweetness?" Penelope struggled to sit up looking around the room "Luke? Where is Luke?" Derek used one hand on her shoulder to gently push her back down "Luke is still here. You need to sleep now okay baby girl?" Penelope looked into Derek's eyes and in a quiet voice she asked "Is Luke my husband? I think he is, but I don't know if I'm remembering a dream or if it really happened. Or maybe I have gone insane and nothing is real. I'm so scared Derek, I don't know whats real anymore." Penelope's eyes filled with tears and Derek found himself totally speechless. Finally JJ moved around to the opposite side of the bed. Penelope turned to look at her and JJ told her "What is real is that you and Ominira are here safe. You are surrounded by your family that loves you. You are going to heal and get your life back. You are the strongest person I've ever known. That is what is real and important right now. Are you hurting?" Pen nodded her head and Reid quickly walked out of the room to find the nurse. Luke stood behind Derek trying to grasp the things he had just learned. First Penelope had shot a man in defence of her team mate. Sparkly, innocent, awkward Penelope who had no FBI feild training shot a man to protect Reid. Second sparkly, innocent, awkward Penelope who had no FBI feild training possably shot two men in order to escape a horrible dangerous situation and protect her daughter. Third sparkly, innocent, awkward Penelope thought she was married to him of all people. Luke found himself stunned when he heard Nira beginning to fuss. Walking over he picked her up out of her car seat and the pulled a bottle and burp rag out of the diaper bag. Luke sat in a chair in the corner and gave the baby a bottle trying to sort out the different thoughts running through his head. Reid returned to the room followed by the same nurse who had medicated Pen earlier. She gave Luke a smile and nod before moving to Penelope's bedside. Derek moved to give the nurse space and turned to Luke. Both men stared at eachother before Luke finally began to chuckle "From Newbie to husband. I've got mad skills right?" 


	5. Can't keep me down.

Her friends were concerned with her lack of emotions. Penelope had been a very sensitive person who cried easily, but the new Pen was different. She did have panic attacks, but those came usually at night. During the day she smiled and acted cheerful all the time. She played with Nira and Hank enthusiastically when Derek brought them in everyday just as he promised. Anytime anyone tried to ask how she was feeling they found themselves instead talking about their lives. She had always been good at deflecting now she was a pro at it. Even Tara couldn't get her to open up. Instead she found herself telling Pen all about the woman she was dating and how she was seriously thinking of asking her to move in. The only person who could get under her skin at all was Luke. Penelope had been informed that she and Luke were not married and she accepted it with ease it seemed. She admitted that during her captivity she had imagined a life that did not exist where Nira was not fathered by a rapist, but by a man who loved her. She understood why she used that fantasy to protect herself and when Derek mentioned it she would brush it off with excuses. He was the only single man on the team who she could have seen in that light. With Matt happily married to a woman she adored with beautiful children she adored, David being like a father, Spencer like a brother and Derek her platonic soul mate married to someone she loved the only available option left was Luke. It had nothing to do with his beautiful brown eyes or his thrilling laugh. Nothing at all to do with his sexy voice or his chiseled abs. It was all just a matter of convenience. She could have just as easily substituted Kevin or Sam. That was what she told herself during the day, but at night it was different. At night the only arms that she wanted were Luke's. At night the terror could only be banished by his soft voice telling her "Your safe hermosa. I've got you".

The second night the team decided Spencer would stay with Pen. After the nurse gave Pen her pain medication Spencer read to her until she fell asleep. He then stretched out on the fold out chair and tried to get some sleep. Around 2 AM the nurse making rounds opened the door and Penelope woke screaming. She scrambled out of the bed and into a corner where she crouched in a huddle crying. The IV tore out of her arm and neither Spencer nor the nurse could calm her. Spencer realized that he and the nurse were making the situation worse and called Derek who suggested to call Luke while Derek got Nira up and headed over to the hospital. Both men arrived at the same time and Derek thanked Luke for rushing to his Baby Girl's aid as they headed into the elevator. "Something about her just makes you want to see her happy. She is part of my team and we are family." Luke answered with a shrug. "I agree." Derek answered. "How is your girlfriend handling your being here though? I mean you didn't have to come. Pen's kidnapping is not really a BAU case and everyone is here on their own time. I know when I was dating women would get jealous of the relationship between Pen and I. That was without her thinking we were married! Savannah was the only one who accepted what Pen and I have without trying to change it. I can not tell you how many times she has told me to call Baby Girl before she had to throttle me! I think while Pen was gone Savannah missed her as much as I did and let me tell you Baby Girl is my god given solace. I missed her like I would miss the sun." Derek stopped talking and tried to hide his sob. Luke answered pretending not to notice the tears "Lisa says she understands, but she has asked me several times when I plan to come home. Since the team is on leave she wants me to go back and spend time with her. I tried to explain that Pen needs all of us here now, but I don't think she really gets it. To her Penelope is a coworker who I was friendly with. I mean I had only started dating her when Pen went missing and she heard me talk about it a lot, but she thinks Pen's recovery will not affect the rest of us. I have tried to explain it and even suggested she talk to Kristy, you know Matt's wife? That turned out to be a bad idea. Matt said Kristy basically told her that the team is family and she had better learn to accept it." Luke chuckled as the elevator opened and the 2 men began walking to the hospital room. "That went over like a lead balloon." Luke finished when they got to the door.

The men nodded to the uniformed officer sitting outside the door before Derek pushed it open. Spencer was sitting on the floor quietly while Penelope huddled in the corner of the room sobbing. Luke stepped back and let Derek approach her first. Derek took Nira out of the car seat and held her out to Penelope talking quietly and after a few moments the woman in the corner crawled forward slowly and took the sleeping baby, but then retreated again. Luke knelt down and called to Penelope "Hermosa you need to get back into the bed and let the nurse fix your IV. Your safe now. Your family is here. Come here bonita." Luke slowly moved forward toward Pen with his hands out and she reached out with her bandaged hand to take his. Her pulled her to his chest gently and rocked her for a moment until her tears dried and her breath evened out. When she at last seemed calm he slipped his arm under her legs while the other arm supported her back and lifted both she and the baby up. He moved to the bed and gently laid her down before he lowered himself to sit beside her He wrapped his arms around her and cooed to her "Your safe hermosa. I've got you" while he kept rocking her. Finally she took a deep breath and pulled away from him slightly as she started to whisper apologies and berate herself for "being stupid" and "letting those bastards win". All 3 men told her there was nothing to apologize for. Spencer told her "I will thankfully stay in this room comforting you as long as you need it. If it means leaving the FBI I will go without a second thought. Having you back is worth anything. You have no idea how much you have been missed Penelope Garcia. You are more important to us than you can ever imagine so you just stop with the apologies. We have you and that beautiful little girl and we all are so glad to have you both." Luke and Derek both agreed with Spencer. The nurse came back and Pen gave a squirming Nira to Luke while the nurse restarted her IV and checked her dressings. Luke carried the baby to a chair in the corner and sat with her while Derek fixed her bottle. Looking down into her hazel eyes he was struck by how much Nira resembled him. With her dark curly hair and skin the color of cappuccino she had to have inherited from her biological father. He looked up at the woman lying in the bed and realized he would rather be here in this hospital with her than anywhere in the world with anyone else including Lisa.


	6. Getting stronger

Days in the hospital went by in a haze of pain medication, dressing changes, skin grafts and police interviews. The people who had forced Penelope Garcia AKA The Black Queen to maintain their computer operations had seriously underestimated her skills and her intelligence. She had infected their computer systems with worms and viruses that in turn infected the systems of every computer linked to them. She had hidden names, phone numbers, addresses, account numbers and vital information about every kidnapping she knew of on the deep web. Once she was given access to a laptop she was able to tack some of the members of the ring with their cell phones. She crashed their computer systems, emptied and froze bank accounts, put out APB's on their vehicles and even cancelled credit cards. In some cases she was even able to hack into a vehicles on board computer and shut them down completely leaving the people driving locked in until police got to them. Penelope was pissed and she was out for blood. Emily had been the one to confirm that 2 men found dead at the scene were killed by bullets that came from the gun she was found with. The team expected her to show guilt and were stunned when she looked at Emily and in a flat voice said "Karma's a bitch". Later she told Derek that she thought one of the men had been the one to impregnate her. Derek asked if she was okay knowing that and Penelope looked at him calmly and told him "You do what you have to do to protect your family" 

The team had been in Chicago for 2 weeks when they began to talk about heading back to Virginia. Savannah had been directing Penelope's care and suggested that Pen might be ready to be discharged in a few days. She would still need a lot of care, but home care nurses could be arranged to do dressing changes and monitor the burns that were healing nicely. She was eating well and had put on some of the weight she had lost in captivity. She would eventually need physical therapy and she was very cooperative with doing the exercises physical therapy had taught her. She was allowed to stand long enough to transfer into and out of a wheel chair and her first shower had lead to a all girls spa day complete with manicure, pedicures and a hair cut for Penelope. The question was where would she be discharged to. Derek wanted her to stay with he and Savannah, but David suggested he could easily have a set of rooms set up for Pen and Nira at his mansion and even offered to hire a 24/7 nurse. Luke stayed silent, but knew he would be staying close to where ever Pen went. She was still having panic attacks at night and after the one night Spencer had stayed the night shift had been taken over by Luke. She would still wake up, but Luke found as long as he was holding her he could calm her easily and get her to go back to sleep. Sometimes she needed medication to help, but it was getting less common. After much discussion among the family it was decided the best thing would be to take her back to Virginia. They could all take turns caring for Penelope and Nira as they worked cases. Derek and Savannah decided that Derek and Hank would be relocating to stay at casa Rossi temporarily to act as nanny for Nira. Derek was not happy to leave Savannah, but she justified it saying "Penelope is your sister as much as Desi and Sarah are. You need her and she needs you right now. I have never tried to keep you from her when she needed you and I will not start now." So plans were made to fly Penelope and the family back to Virginia on Rossi's private jet. 

Luke went for a quiet walk to call Lisa. He knew she would not appreciate what he would be telling her and it could very well end their relationship. She had gotten increasingly upset everyday he stayed in Chicago. Every time he called her she would demand to know why he needed to stay and so far he had not told her that Penelope had imagined a marriage to him as a way to cope during her captivity. He had also failed to mention that Pen could only seem to sleep if he held her. The team took it in stride. Penelope needed different things from each of them and they gave her what she needed. Spencer kept her entertained with new episodes of Dr.Who and read her favorite books. Derek diverted her attention to the babies. Savannah coordinated with her doctors and kept her informed of her medical status. Tara had started to get her to accept mental help. Emily made her laugh. JJ made her feel confident, David showered her with gifts and attention, Matt filled her in on life while she was gone and Luke kept her safe from the demons that came out at night. When Lisa answered he started out telling her that Penelope's discharge was being coordinated and the plan was to move her to Va. As Luke expected Lisa was not at all happy to find out Luke was planning to staying with Penelope at Rossi's. He tried to explain that she needed him and that she had been through hell, but Lisa was not at all willing to empathize. When he brought up the fact that Derek was leaving his wife and bringing Hank to take care of Penelope for an unspecified amount of time Lisa took it as a personal insult. She did not end their relationship, but she did give him an ultimatum. Right before hanging up she informed him that she would accept him going to see Pen after work and on the weekends, but he would be expected home in bed with her every night he was not on a case. "I'll share you with the FBI, but I'll be dammed if I will share you with your co-worker." She hung up abruptly and Luke sat looking at his phone. He cared for Lisa. He really did. She was funny, beautiful, kind (usually) and he had thought he loved her. He even planned to propose soon, but when she threw out that ultimatum the only thing Luke could think was that if Penelope had been in Lisa's place she would have been offering to help. Just as Will, Kristy, Monica and Delila (Tara's girlfriend) were pulling together to care for Matt, Steven and JJ's children while they were in Chicago. They had taken it as a given that the team would care for Pen and they knew if they ever needed it the team would care for them the same way. Just as they had stepped in to help care for Monica and her children when Steven was killed. They were a family and they pulled together. If Lisa could not accept that then she was not the woman for him. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before her turned to head back to the hotel and the team trying to decide the best way to break things off with Lisa. She deserved more than a break up phone call or text, but Luke was surprised to find that while he was sad to think that it was over he was relieved at the same time. 


	7. Home to Virginia

The day came to fly to Va and Penelope was excited and upbeat to be leaving the hospital. She had spoken at length to Savannah about the decision to have Derek accompany them back and Savannah had assured her that she was completely supportive of the plan. Without his Baby Girl Derek was a different person who had a hard time seeing the good in the world and now that she was back Derek had begun to regain the spark in his eyes. Savannah finally explained to Penelope her reason for sending Derek to Va was to see him recover from the soul sickness he had suffered from thinking that his best friend had taken her own life. Derek had blamed himself and had spent the time Penelope was gone alternating between being angry and shutting everyone out. Savannah saw the healing that had started the moment Derek saw his god-given solace in the hospital. Helping Penelope heal was in turn bringing back the loving husband she needed. 

The flight from Chicago to Virginia had been smooth with the team focused on getting Penelope settled into Rossi's. David had flown home a few days before to set up the rooms Pen, Derek and the children would be staying in as well as setting up home care nurses for Penelope's healing wounds. David had taken over the logistical nightmare of bringing Penelope Garcia back to life and making Ominira Donata Garcia an American citizen. Not to mention getting health insurance to cover the mounting medical bills. In many cases David had simply paid out of pocket to ensure that his Kitten would have everything she needed to be comfortable. When ever David found himself getting overwhelmed by whole mess he would stop a moment and look at a picture taken in the hospital of Penelope holding a smiling Ominira who was wearing a pink onesie emblazoned with the words "Everyone gets a grandfather. Only the lucky get a Nonno". Having his girl and his grandbaby home were worth any amount of headaches. 

The team pulled up to the front of Rossi's mansion to find Will, Kristy, Monica and Delila had been at the house for hours helping get ready. The team had talked about a homecoming party, but decided against the idea worried it would be overwhelming for the recovering woman. All of Penelope's things from her apartment had been removed from storage and brought to Rossi's to decorate the suite of rooms he had designated for her. When she was wheeled into her new home Penelope was stunned to see how everything she owned had been lovingly preserved. She realized they had never let her go and that she was truly loved by her ragtag mismatched family. The team spoke their good byes and headed off to their own homes leaving David, Derek, Hank and Luke with Penelope and Nira. 

Once Penelope was settled in her new surroundings Luke decided he would head back to his house to get fresh clothes, pick up Roxi and lastly to inform Lisa that he would be moving out. He had not told anyone that he was planning to break things off with his girlfriend, but he knew they noticed he was distracted for the last few days. Derek had approached him before the team left Chicago and pointed out that Penelope would need to get used to his absence once they were back in Virginia. The problem was Luke didn't want her to adjust to his absence. He had come to realize he wanted to keep holding her at night. He wanted to be there with her as she rebuilt her life and he wanted to be a key part of that new life if she wanted him there. Luke found himself amazed by the strength of the beautiful woman who made herself laugh and smile everyday. He saw how she refused to wallow in anxiety and sadness. Instead she smiled and played with her daughter and godson.She invited people to fill her in on their happiness's and joys. She greeted every new person as a friend she had not yet had the chance to meet. Penelope seemed to accept the nightmares, flashbacks and anxiety as a temporary reality that could and would be overcome with time. Sometimes she would wake up screaming and would beg Luke with tears streaming down her face "Tell me something happy please." and he would tell her about Roxi taking off down a trail after a squirrel and how he had fallen in a huge mud puddle chasing after her. Or about a sunrise he watched from the BAU jet after a case when they saved a victim that was so beautiful he found himself crying. She looked for beauty always and in turn shared that beauty with those lucky enough to be around her. He realized that people like Penelope are the strongest people alive because they know about the ugliness of the world. They know about the cruelty and pain people inflict on other people, but they choose to focus on the love and joy instead. He had decided to wait some time and let her adjust to being home then tell her how he felt and even if Penelope Garcia never wanted anything more than friendship from him he would be one of the luckiest people in the world. 

But first he needed to let Lisa go. He had tried to be happy with her and he had done his best to be good to her, but she had always blamed him for the long hours and absences that came along with being a member of the BAU. There had been epic fights where she would threaten to leave and he would end up agreeing to what ever she wanted just to get some peace. For months Luke had been ignoring the tension he felt every time he returned from a case never knowing if he would be walking into a fight. The last straw had been the ultimatum she had given him.

Luke waited for Derek, David and the children to Join Penelope in her room before he announced he would be heading home for a bit. Luke saw apprehension in Penelope's eyes at his announcement, but she quickly looked down at her lap before she laughed and told him "I was wondering how I was gonna get rid of you Newbster." Luke chuckled and replied "Still with that? You need new material. I'm just going to pick up Roxi, get some different clothes and take care of some things then I'll be back. Rossi said Roxi and I are welcome to stay here and help cater to the Queen." Penelope let out a squeal at the mention of Roxi and the men laughed. Derek lifted his brow at Luke noticing the man did not mention Lisa at all, but he kept his questions to his self not wanting anything to stress Pen. Luke and David said their good byes before David drove Luke home leaving Derek and Penelope to watch a movie with the babies.

During the drive to Luke's house Rossi decided he should broach the subject of Lisa and asked "So your welcome to stay and I am truly thankful for your help with Penelope, but have you decided when your going to break things off with Lisa?" Luke looked at David in surprise before shaking his head "I have talked to Lisa and after our last conversation I decided to end it. She is a good person and I care for her, but the truth is I just don't love her. I am going to tell her tonight. I sent her a text when we landed to tell her I would be back tonight." Rossi glanced at him before saying "Good because we all see how Kitten looks at you and how you look at her and after all she has been through she needs love and happiness. I am not even going to threaten you though cause I am sure you know if you hurt her we will have no mercy." David pulled up to Luke's house and smiled at him as he opened the door. "If I ever hurt her I don't deserve mercy." he answered before shutting the door.

Luke walked into the house and was immediately greeted by Roxi who was nearly beside herself with joy at his return. He patted her back and knelt down to give her a hug while he called out for Lisa. He heard her answer from down the hall and followed her voice to the bedroom carrying his go bag. Entering the bedroom Luke found Lisa lying provocatively on the bed dressed only in a red teddy. "welcome home." she purred. "I've been waiting for you." Luke stood silent for a moment trying to decide how to start the conversation he needed to have. Lisa took his silence as a good sign and began to crawl across the bed toward Luke with a grin, but before she got to the end of the bed Luke held up his hand. "Lisa please get dressed. We need to talk." He stated before turning to walk out of the room. It did not pass unnoticed by him that although he recognized Lisa's beauty he felt no desire for her. Seeing her all he truly felt was relief that the fights and drama that had plagued their time together would soon be over. He knew without any doubt that Penelope was not the cause of his desire to end things with Lisa. Their life together was a sinking ship and he had been ignoring the rising water for too long.

Lisa followed Luke quickly pulling a robe on over her scantily clad body. When Luke reached the living room he perched on the arm of the couch and gestured for Lisa to sit. "Your breaking up with me aren't you?" She asked sharply standing in front of him. Luke kept his tone calm and simply answered "Yeah I am. I think we both have seen this coming." Lisa scoffed at that and replied raising her voice "Seen this coming? What is that supposed to mean? We were doing great. I know for a fact you have been thinking of proposing to me." Luke shook his head sadly and replied "We argue all the time. When I come home from a case I never know if I'll be met with you threatening to leave me or not. I am tired of the drama and I just want to end it. I will pack what Roxi and I need tonight and arrange to get my stuff sometime this week." Lisa starred at Luke in amazement. When ever they had argued before Luke would be the one begging her to give things another chance and now he was talking as if their breakup was a foregone conclusion. "So that's it is it? Your tired and so you are just going to give up?" She threw her hands up in frustration and Luke simply stood up and began walking back into the bedroom answering simply "Yes. This is me officially giving up." It took a short amount of time for Luke to gather up the things he felt he and Roxi would need. He had always kept his belongings to a minimum in any case. He took Roxi's lead and walked to the door. Before he left he turned to Lisa and said "I am sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, but maybe you and I can both find what we need now." He closed the door gently and walked away feeling sad, but his only regret was that he had not accepted the truth sooner and saved them both time. 


End file.
